Johnny: [Commentary voice] Johnny and Dukey will need perfect concentration to win gold for the mixed-species street luge world championship. [Crowd cheering] Annnd... they're off!
[They take off down the road.]
Johnny: They round the high drain!
Dukey: They pop the pointers!
[They do a back somersault.]
Johnny: And they see Gil! [Quickly] And they're holding Susan and Mary's hands! But wait! What?
[They crash into a bush. They rise up and take off their head gear.]
Dukey: Okay, that's weird.
Johnny: Hello sisters. Hey Gil, if that's who you really are.
Gil: Hey, Johnny. Didn't see a pair of eyes for Susan and Mary.
[The girls relax and display hearts on their eyes. Johnny glares at them. unsettling them.]
Susan and Mary: Go away, Johnny!
Johnny: Not 'til Dukey and I get some answers. [Rubs Gil's head] It's hologram kill. Real love kills. Evil twin Gil from evil twin universe.
Gil: Which is audacious babe's wanna see me applied food - his body rush?
Johnny: Seriously, what did you do to him?
Susan: Will you go away if we tell you?
Johnny: Doing a week of math homework and you've got a deal.
Susan: We made an attitude alternator.
Mary: It reverses the neurological synapses on the cognitive side of the brain altering the subject's decision-making process.
Johnny: Can I get an English to Johnny translation?
Mary: It makes people do the opposite of what they'd normally do.
Susan: Just a harmless neurological adjustment to make you go from ignoring us, to...
Mary and Susan: Adoring us!
Susan: Annnd now that you know--
Mary and Susan: Get lost!
[Johnny and Dukey are back on the skateboard.]
Johnny: Too bad the girls wouldn't let us borrow that thing.
Dukey: Why? So Gil would rub lotion for you too?
Johnny: No... Because I had to borrow it on my own.
[He shows Dukey the attitude alternator. The dog gasps and stops the skateboard.]
Dukey: Whoa. Teenage girls doing remote control brain surgery is one thing. But you having it just scares me.
Butcher: Hey, get that mud away from my store. I hate dogs!
[Johnny activates the machine. It zaps the butcher.]
Butcher: Hey, young fella. How about a nice juicy steak. On the hound. I love dogs!
Johnny: [Pretending] Sorry, Dukey. What were you just saying?
Dukey: Doggy eating now. Doggy love steak.
[Bumper is being chased by a butterfly. Johnny - holding the machine - and Dukey laugh.]
Shopkeeper: Enjoy those free video games boys! Set her free!
Johnny: [Proudly holding the machine] Best invention ever!
[The heroic duo are on the couch playing a video-game.]
Lila: Johnny! I've got to create an important presentation for work so I would appreciate some quiet!
Johnny: Hyalala--
Hugh: Johnny! I found your dirty clothes in the hallway.
Johnny: Hey! You told me not to leave my clothes on the floor in my room.
Hugh: Johnny!
Lila: I cannot work with all this noise! [Sobs]
Hugh: Johnny. I'd yell at you more but whispering makes it sound ridiculous!
Dukey: Boy, aren't they on the edge?
Johnny: I bet they'd feel better after a little... adjusting.
Dukey: I'd feel better if you didn't mess with your parents.
Johnny: Come on. Look how unhappy they are.
[He drops a chip onto the floor. Dramatic music plays as it lands on the floor.]
Hugh: I just cleaned this floor!
Lila: What does it take to get some quiet so I can work?!
[Johnny zaps the two parents.]
Lila: Is that, Slime Box - Slugfest 4? Awesome!
[She jumps onto the couch, dropping the chip packet onto the floor, and plays the video-game.]
Johnny: Dad. Mom just made a mess on the floor.
Hugh: Messes? I love messes!
Johnny: Dad, Mom, I gotta say, I like your new attitude. Best invention ever!
[The video game shows on the screen. Lila is drinking several cans. The two slugs touch each other and the "GAME OVER" screen appears. Dukey groans.]
Johnny: [Annoyed] Mom, you crashed us again, Mom. We can't level up if we're dead.
Lila: You're so serious! Chillax! Video games should be fun!
[She burps loudly, flinching Johnny in the process.]
Lila: Again!
[The room is in a complete mess with cans and boxes all over the carpet. Johnny starts pinching his nose.]
Johnny: Bleugh. The stink I can get a little hot in here. Hey, Dad. The trash in the--
[Before he can finish, they gasp and shriek in horror that the kitchen is also in a mess.]
Hugh: Johnny, you and the dukester are just in time for my meatloaf parfait! So good you can't keep the flies away!
[Johnny flinches in disgust.]
Johnny: I think that's the time to clean up.
Hugh: Please, [Drinks and burps loudly.] Want to please? Still gonna get dirty again.
[The phone rings. Dukey answers it.]
Dukey: Hello? It's your mom's boss.
[Johnny looks at Lila, who burps again. The phone is offered to him. He take it and clears his throat.]
Johnny: This is Mr. Test. Mrs. Test can't come to the phone right now.
Mr. Mobo: But where's her presentation?
Johnny: Well, it's er... almost done.
Mr. Mobo: Almost?! Can you tell her I'm coming over right now? And her presentation better be finished or she's fired!
[He slams the phone down.]
Dukey: Well, that sounded bad.
Johnny: Hmm...
Dukey: That's also not a great sound.
Johnny: I'm just thinking.
Dukey: Still waiting for something that sounds good.
Johnny: So, this makes people do the opposite. If we zap them again they'll go... Opposite again! Make him go from crazy to normal!
Dukey: Huh. There's a strange logic to that but your logic has a less than stellar track record, so I'm giving it back to your sister!
Johnny: Or not!
Dukey: Am too!
Johnny: Gimme!
Dukey: Let go!
Johnny: Come on!
Dukey: You let go!
Johnny: No, you let go!
[The machine is pressed. The laser zaps through the window outside.]
Gil: I love the way you girls talk science.
[He is zapped.]
Gil: It makes me want to embrace that so... get me so close that I'll enjoy that so much our eyeballs pop out!
Mary and Susan: Too much, Gil!
[While the parents play the video game, fighting is heard in the background.]
Hugh: How do you think I feel?! I leave you alone for two minutes and look at this place!
[The heroic duo breathe a sigh of relief.]
Hugh: Garbage and only one tidy the room? No dirty talk anywhere! Johnny, do you think I don't have anything better to do than filth up after you? It's gonna take me all day to trash this place!
Johnny: Didn't see that coming. [Looks around the room for Lila] Where's mom?
Lila: You're on a birthday, dude!
[She rolls across the room on a skateboard towards Johnny. He dodges and dives onto the couch with a banana skin landed on his head. The skateboard crashes.]
Lila: I'm Okay!
Dukey: You're gonna do any more thinking.
Johnny: This isn't so bad and it'll probably wear off soon.
[The mess is now heaped in two piles either side of the room. The duo are wearing protective masks.]
Johnny: Any minute now.
[The doorbell rings. Johnny answers. The health inspector shows his report.]
Inspector: Health inspector, throws your pigs.
Johnny: What pigs?
[Pigs are scattered all over their front yard.]
Johnny: Oh... Those pigs.
Inspector: I'm gonna have to cite you for unlicensed farming, fire lady the maximum light for a pile of garbage, that rare hair disorder, and I'm condemning the house. Have a nice day.
[Dramatic music plays as they both look at the Condemned poster on the door. Outside, Hugh fly-tips with his truck on the road parallel to the front door.]
Hugh: Not dirty enough. Just not dirty enough!
Lila: Geroniwonga, again! Haha!
[She surfs with the carpet down the stairs. The duo panic and dive out of her way. They are covered in mud.]
Dukey: We'll look on the bright side. Maybe we'll get evicted before your mom's boss gets here.
[The girls rush in through the front door.]
Susan and Mary: Hide us!
Gil: Come back, fais du Test. Let me, pour vie, for all of eternity, and have a three hug smooch!
Susan and Mary: Huh?
Gil: For destiny!
Susan and Mary: Help, Gil!
Gil: Whoever denied brains and beauty go. they cannot escape my hugs nor my huggie spread.
Susan and Mary: Johnny! What did you do?!
[Johnny and Dukey arrive at the scene.]
Johnny: [Slowly] I may have borrowed your attitude alternator.
Susan and Mary: Johnny!
Dukey: There's plenty of blame we can all lay on Johnny but now would be a good time for you girls to show us the reverse of this thing!
Susan and Mary: Um... well...
Dukey: There's no reverse.
Susan: Who knew we'd ever want to change Gil back for not noticing us.
Gil: Hey.
Mary: All we'll have to do is figure a way to return the brain synapses to their normal state.
Dukey: Can you do it fast? We're in a bit of a time crunch. Your mom's boss is on his way over here!
Johnny: [Quickly and Worried] He wants to see her presentation or she's fired and if she's fired we'll be thrown on the street and if we're thrown out on the street we'll be forced to live in Dad's garbage igloo!
[Tires screech.]
Mary: What igloo?
Hugh: Hi, kids!
Susan: What presentation?
[Gil rises from the trash can and hands Susan the laptop.]
Mary: Create an entirely new image for her company?
Susan: Okay here's the plan. Mary, you work on reversing braces. I'll finish mom's multi-million dollar presentation. You and Dukey, clean the house!
Johnny: [Protesting] But why do we always get the hard job?
Mary: Hmm, let me think. Maybe because you caused this mess?
Johnny: [Realizes] Right...
[Johnny and Dukey are outside with several trash cans filled with trash.]
Johnny: Okay! The house is clean inside! Now to start cleaning up the mess out here.
[Suddenly they are crushed by a giant heap of trash.]
Dukey: Huh?! We can't compete with heavy machinery!
Johnny: So, we get it to work for us!
[He walks towards Hugh, who's in the driving seat of the truck.]
Johnny: [Happily] Great work, Dad! The yarn is disgusting!
Hugh: Thanks, son. It's good to know my hard work is appreciated.
[Johnny starts crying.]
Johnny: Sorry... I was just thinking about the rats.
Hugh: Those rats?
Johnny: Poor little guys. Had to leave their home at the city dump because we took their garbage.
Hugh: I never thought of us like that.
Johnny: Dad, let's [Confidently] give till it hurts, and donate our yard full of trash to our animal friends at the dumps!
Hugh: You're a good boy, Johnny. We'll do it!
[Johnny stands back as the truck scoops up the mess.]
[Later, the yard is all clean.]
Johnny: Well, the yard is looking pretty good.
Dukey: Oh... your mom's boss is here
Susan: On it! Here it is, Mr. Mobo. Mom's new image for incorpicorps!
Mr. Mobo: Ugh... It's a logo? I had to come all the way out here to see that?
[The image is being paintballed on. Lila arrives with a helmet on roller blades.]
Lila: Boring! Boring! Where's the fun?!
[Lila gives Johnny, Susan and Mr. Mobo protective clothing and hands them a gun.]
Mr. Mobo: My luck. That's playing yourself.
Lila: Mobo, You need to stop all this work work work and just play!
[She fires a shot at Susan and Johnny.]
Mr. Mobo: Play? [To his client] Do you mean the customers should take a lock as the company display?
Johnny: Yeah! That's totally what mom means. Hahaaha!
[Johnny, Susan and Lila start playing paintball]
Lila: Gotcha!
Johnny: Awesome!
[Paint covers Mr. Mobo's arm.]
Mr. Mobo: I... like it! Miss Stapinus, notify the board. From now on, Incorpicorp is the company of this place! No fan put Lila down for a race.
[He takes off in his limo. Dukey, Johnny and Susan breathe a sigh of relief. Mary is seen running away from Gil.]
Gil: Stop! I've been waiting all my life for you!
Mary: I reversed the alternator.
Gil: Come back--
[He is zapped again.]
Gil: Oh, hi Johnny. Hey, girls out there I've never seen before. Guess I'm going to a sober party. Later!
[Gil leaves, Susan and Mary breathe a sigh of relief.]
[Mary zaps Lila.]
Lila: What happened?
Johnny: Don't you know, your boss was here, and he loved your presentation.
Lila: He did? I don't even remember finishing it. :Hugh: Johnny! How many times do I have to tell you not to leave the peanut butter on the counter.
[He opens the closet to put the peanut butter back. However, trash pours out onto his face, and he is later seen holding a pig. Johnny shows a guilty look.]
Johnny: We get a point.
Lila and Hugh: Johnny!
[The screen circles to the pig and blacks out. The title screen of the next episode, Johnny on the Job is shown.]